Support for Adults Healing Relational Trauma and Attachment Wounds
Specialized in working with women and LGBTQ+ clients primarily in St. Louis and Lisbon
Offering in-person sessions in Lisbon and online therapy across Missouri, Portugal, and internationally.
A nervous system, IFS/parts-informed approach.
You may be a good fit for this work if you tend to have emotional insight and curiosity, yet find yourself carrying patterns that do not fully make sense to you. Perhaps you learned early on that you should be strong, self-reliant, or held-together, even when parts of you needed care or protection. You may sense that your past shaped who you became, but you have not fully understood all of the ways that has played out. Regardless, you learned to endure, adapt, and move forward.
Many people I work with are drawn to deeper inner work. They want to understand how their history lives on inside them, not just intellectually, but emotionally and relationally. They may feel ready to explore experiences they once had to “suck it up” and survive, and to do so in a way that feels meaningful, respectful, and grounded rather than overwhelming. Often, there is a quiet knowing that in order to create different patterns in current and future relationships, they need to give themselves the gift of acknowledging and healing some of the pain from the past.
For some clients, these patterns also overlap with experiences of chronic overwhelm, self-pressure, or difficulty creating change despite insight and effort. If that resonates, you may also find it helpful to read more about my work with adults navigating ADHD and change, particularly when long-standing patterns feel resistant to willpower alone.
Relational Trauma, Attachment Wounds, and Early Relationship Patterns
Relational trauma often develops not from a single catastrophic event, but from growing up in relationships where emotional safety, attunement, or consistency were missing. These early experiences shape how we learn to stay connected, protect ourselves, and understand what to expect from others. You may have had a parent who was harsh, volatile, or emotionally unavailable, or you may have been placed in adult roles too early, expected to manage responsibility before you were ready. Even when there was love present, your nervous system may have learned to stay alert, guarded, or braced.
Some people carry the impact of trauma related to specific, identifiable events, while others were shaped by experiences that were ongoing, normalized, or minimized at the time. Trauma is sometimes described using terms like “big T” and “little t,” but these labels are less about the type of experience and more about how it was experienced, supported, and processed. Both kinds of experiences can be deeply influential. And even when something felt processed at one point in life, it may resurface later, asking to be understood from a different angle as circumstances, relationships, or developmental life stages change.
Regardless of how they are labeled, these experiences are held not only in memory, but in the body and nervous system, shaping how safety, trust, and connection are experienced in the present.
As adults, these early adaptations often show up in relationships. You might notice patterns of being treated poorly, difficulty trusting others, or feeling strong and capable on the outside while carrying insecurity or self-doubt underneath. These patterns are often rooted in attachment strategies that once helped maintain connection or emotional safety. They are not flaws. They are understandable strategies that once helped you survive. Therapy offers a place to understand how these patterns formed and to begin relating to yourself and others with more choice, safety, and compassion.
Short-Term Coping Skills vs. Deeper Relational Trauma Work
There are many forms of therapy that focus on coping strategies, tools, or symptom management. For some concerns, and at certain points in life, this kind of work can be genuinely helpful. Learning ways to regulate emotions or get through difficult moments can offer meaningful relief.
However, when painful experiences from the past are consistently pushed aside rather than processed and healed, those strategies can begin to function more like a way of containing what was never fully integrated. Sometimes this looks like exiling younger parts of ourselves that still need compassion, understanding, or protection. What appears managed on the surface may still be active underneath, often showing up in indirect ways, such as intense emotional reactions, repeated relationship patterns, or a sense of not fully understanding yourself as well as you would like.
As children, we had very little control over our external world, so behaviors, beliefs, and personality traits developed to help us survive and, at times, thrive. As adults, those same strategies may no longer serve us in the same way. Some people learned to stay tough and move forward without looking back, and those approaches often worked when it felt like there was no other choice. Over time, though, what was set aside does not disappear. Deeper relational trauma work offers a way to gently understand and integrate these experiences, supporting change that feels embodied and lasting, rather than like placing a bandage over a wound that continues to reopen.
Depth with Care and Containment
For some people, there is a fear of poking at an old wound and disrupting ways of coping that have taken years to develop. For others, the worry is that once something is opened, it might not be able to be held, or that they will be left alone with feelings that feel too big or too raw.
Therapy can be challenging at times, and it is understandable to have these concerns. I approach this work with deep respect for how protective and adaptive our inner worlds are, and I am intentional about making sure that what emerges is supported, integrated, and tended to with care for your nervous system and your life outside of therapy.
While this work can be meaningful and sometimes emotionally demanding, my intention is never for clients to leave sessions feeling flooded, exposed, or unable to function in their daily lives. Depth does not require overwhelm. Therapy works best when it unfolds within a sense of safety and containment.
We pay attention not only to what is being explored, but to how it is held. Sessions are paced thoughtfully, with care for what feels manageable at that point in life. If you ever notice that something feels stirred up in a way that lingers between sessions, that is important information. It is something we address together, not something you are expected to push through on your own.
What Working Together Looks Like in Therapy
Therapy with me is collaborative, relational, and paced with care. I value building a genuine therapeutic relationship, one that allows for both depth and moments of lightness. Many clients find that being able to laugh, reflect, and feel truly understood in the room is an important part of the healing process, especially when exploring heavy or tender material.
If you are someone who prefers therapy that relies on worksheets or focuses on correcting thought patterns, working with me may feel like an adjustment at first. Rather than trying to correct or override thoughts, we pay attention to which parts of you are driving your reactions, including catastrophic-thinking or highly protective parts, as well as the more logical, grounded parts that may be present. When there is conflict between these parts, we work to understand it with curiosity and compassion. This allows change to emerge from integration and healing, rather than from trying to eliminate or push down parts of you that tend to resurface later in indirect or confusing ways.
Sessions are collaborative rather than directive. You are not being pushed toward insight or change before you are ready. Instead, we pay attention together to what feels present, meaningful, and manageable. Your feedback matters, and your experience helps guide the pace and direction of the work.
This type of work is often longer-term in nature. Rather than aiming for quick fixes, we focus on understanding patterns over time and supporting change that unfolds organically. For many people, therapy is something they engage in for a period, step away from, and then return to when they feel ready to explore new layers, much like finishing one book in a series and taking a pause before starting the next.
Taking breaks is not always a sign of avoidance. Often, it is part of how deeper work integrates. There can be comfort in knowing that there is a therapist you can return to, someone with whom you already have rapport, shared language, a sense of relational safety, and an experience of what a steady, secure relationship can feel like. Over time, the therapeutic relationship itself can become a secure base for exploring difficult material. Some people choose to have periodic or monthly check-ins during these pauses, while others step away more fully and return later.
At the same time, some people prefer therapy to be an ongoing presence in their lives, rather than something they step in and out of. There is no single right way to do this work. Together, we can shape a rhythm that fits your needs, your life, and what feels supportive.
If you are queer or LGBTQ+, you may also want to learn more about my queer-affirming approach to therapy, particularly as it relates to relational safety, identity, and being fully seen within the therapeutic relationship.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and psychotherapist in Missouri. I also work with adults internationally, including people living abroad or navigating cross-cultural transitions. You can learn more about my work with international clients here.
A Gentle Next Step
If this description resonates with you, you do not need to have everything figured out, or even know for certain that I am the right therapist for you, before reaching out. Many people come to therapy with a sense that something from their past is still shaping their present, and that they need someone who can respond in a way that feels attuned and supportive, even if they cannot yet name exactly what they need. Curiosity, a readiness for deeper work, and a desire for understanding are enough to begin.
Starting therapy is not a commitment to intensity or to diving into everything at once. It is an invitation to begin building a relationship where your experiences can be explored thoughtfully, at a pace that respects both your inner world and your everyday life. If you are looking for a space that values depth, care, and collaboration, I invite you to reach out and see if working together feels like a good fit.
FAQs
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Many people notice patterns in relationships that don’t fully make sense, such as difficulty trusting, feeling guarded, or repeatedly ending up in similar dynamics. You don’t need to identify a specific traumatic event for this work to be relevant. If your past relationships feel connected to how you relate now, this approach may be helpful. Learn more.
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Not necessarily. While early experiences often matter, therapy focuses on what is showing up in your present life and relationships. We explore the past only as it feels useful and manageable, and never in a way that feels forced or overwhelming. Learn more.
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This work is paced carefully, with attention to safety and containment. The intention is not for you to leave sessions feeling flooded or unable to function. If something feels stirred up between sessions, that’s important information and something we discuss together. Learn more.
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While some skills will be incorporated, this is typically more relational and longer-term work, focused on understanding patterns and supporting lasting change. Learn more.
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Many clients find attachment concepts helpful. In this therapy, the focus is less on labels and more on how these patterns show up in your lived experience and relationships. Learn more.
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No. I work with adults across a range of identities and relationship experiences. My approach is queer-affirming and grounded in respect for how identity and lived experience shape emotional safety and connection. Learn more.
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You don’t need to feel certain or fully ready to begin. Curiosity and a sense that something from the past may still be affecting the present are enough. Readiness often develops within the therapeutic relationship itself. Learn more.
Frequently asked questions about starting therapy
Healing is not about becoming someone new, but about allowing all parts of you to live with a greater sense of ease, safety, and compassion.
